Situations And Clarifications

Part 1 & 2

Article yC 1991

Situations And Clarifications

Part 1

Article yC 1991

During the winter of 1988 and summer of 1989 I had experiences which vividly drew me apart from material ambitions to Spiritual ambitions. These experiences made it very real and understandable to me, why the early church and martyr brethren were inspired as they were. During this time I experienced a fervent desire for a Spiritual awakening among God's people and was moved to write various articles which encouraged such. It is clear that these articles were not received by the ministry in the same way, since concerning the same articles some ministers quite strongly opposed them, and some ministers approved them and felt they were very good. yC-1

Concerning the article entitled "The Word Of God" (which article was shared with many ministers), one minister with whom I visited although not previously acquainted, revealed his acceptance thereof, in that he told me he felt this article would have needed to be written by someone with a lot under him, and thought this article would have been written by someone older then me. I then told him with tears that I felt God had a difficult fire for me to bear. Although this article was accepted by some, it also caused telephone calls to our home staff by some who were disturbed about it, and according to the home staff it was rejected. yC-2

One home staff member at first appreciated my writing insomuch that he made photo copies of a writing entitled "God's Eternal And Salvation Plan" and sent them to various of his family (note the last part was not yet completed). He then said in essence that he was glad to reveal to his family what is yet in the church. (At that time I was very burdened for the salvation of others and hoped that our concern is not, to much, just to be well thought of). This minister of our home staff supported my concerns and portrayed the thought that the church by becoming too anchored in one another was experiencing a shadowing out Spiritually (looking too much only at one another as brethren for our support (foundation) and light, while not sufficiently looking at the deep things of God). Yet later when he took notice of the struggle and burden which I encountered, and read my next writing entitled, "The Word Of God" his feelings toward me quite abruptly changed and he together with the other home staff soon made the request that I discontinue writing. Concerning such as are not staff members, many articles also have been approved by them, and it was stated the truth is what hurts. yC-3

Rueben Koehn having read various of these articles said they were in harmony with his convictions and suggested I send them to the "Messenger Of Truth". I had earlier sent various of these articles to the "Messenger Of Truth", but the Editor thereof refused to print them, and said he felt uneasy about my writing from the first. Considering all the above may no one conclude that the church has been united in the proving of these articles. yC-4

Although my experiences caused within me a renewed zeal they also caused within me a sorrowfulness and a heavy burden, firstly because of the dreadful blindness of man when lacking a Spiritual awakening or revelation (Matt 16:17) from God, and secondly because of the unawareness of many of the shallowness of the Spiritual standard of our day. I believe because of the burden and sorrow I bore, some were moved to oppose me. Although I had an earnest desire for a Spiritual awakening among God's people, and (I believe) a fervent love for the Souls of men, when writing the article entitled "The Word Of God", possibly I was too harsh in writing it, and possibly not discrete in handling it. At the time I wrote it, and mailed it to most congregations I was under a tremendous burden and didn't know for sure what to do. Yet I did feel the article was very appropriate for the present need and was impressed with the verse, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver" (Proverbs 25:11). yC-5

I did not want to be excommunicated from the Church and made, as I remember, two telephone calls to other staff members to inform them that the home Staff was planning on excommunicating me, hoping they could somehow help. A short while before I was excommunicated I endeavored to give a few articles to a home staff minister and to the revival help which then was here but they were refused and not taken or read. To me it seems peculiar that when I then was expelled no liberty was given for anyone to speak. It also surprised me that when I was excommunicated the neighboring congregation's staff was not more involved as later one of their ministers would have greeted me if I had not told him I was expelled. Also at the time I was put on repentance I do not believe their was liberty given for anyone of the congregation to speak. Another brother, who since my being excommunicated, has been ordained, remembered that things were not clear in his mind when I was dealt with and said he also noticed their was not liberty given to speak. The reason given for severing me from church fellowship as I remembered was deception. Yet another brother said he remembers of a spirit of self being lifted out as a error in my life. Before now (May 18, 91), I have shared the above with quite few, as I do not want to defend myself, but rather desire that others would consider the serious spiritual truths given in my writings. yC-6

In the last few pages of John Holdeman's writing entitled "A Friendly Invitation To The Jews" he clearly prophesied of a powerful revival, which would yet occur before the end, which revival would be similar to the early church movement at Pentecost and involving similar miracle working power. I believe this revival of which John Holdeman prophesied, is one with the latter rain of which apostle James speaks, one with the midnight cry of which Christ speaks, and one with the witnesses of God rising to their feet of which Revelation chapter 11 speaks. I also had an experience wherein a powerful revival or reformation was impressed on me, such as we have never witnessed in our time, which I tend to believe is also one with the above. Yet I really question whether this revival can or will occur among those who feel that church is alive and well, who in reality have a feeling of having attained, who do not recognize the slumbering of the bride, and who in reality are defending our present standard of Christian life. yC-7

May no one think because God still works among them that no revival or reformation is needed, or think that their is no other church inwhich God would rather have them. John Holdeman wrote, "God has many children who are scattered among the false sects of the so called Christian denominations and in them He has strongly shown Himself and thereupon they hold fast and console themselves by staying with these sects". yC-8

I have now been worshipping with you around a year and four months since I was excommunicated. It has been a heavy burden to me and a very lonesome experience being avoided (excommunication avoidance) by all with whom I previously had fellowship, and largely being fearful to fellowship elsewhere. I have a great desire to learn and desire to thoroughly study the Scriptures with others who also desire to learn truth. Yet it is very difficult to have a diligent and effectual study or search of the Scriptures together with those whose desire naturally is to uphold that authority that has judged me to be a heretic. Although their are those with wisdom and understanding among you with whom conversation could be fruitful, yet it is very difficult to have fruitful fellowship with such as are endeavoring to avoid me. I do believe their are those among you who quite largely support me but most seem powerless to help and possibly unwilling to become involved. yC-9

I do feel a need for fellowship, and a need for help in searching the mysteries of the Scriptures, and searching church history with their many significant writings. It is clear that a group of individuals, firstly if they earnestly and sincerely are searching for truth, secondly if they are not in a traditional bog, and thirdly if they work together as is possible, can gather knowledge, understanding, and wisdom superior to that which one can alone. yC-10

Considering I feel I had experiences, such as I should be thankful for, which instilled within me a faith such as could not but speak the things which it has seen and heard, prior to being excommunicated, and considering very likely I would be required to declare that I was rightly excommunicated before being accepted among you, it looks impossible to be united with you and to labor with you at this time. Yet I hope sometime to be united with you in fervent Spiritual fellowship. yC-11

Even though I may need to fellowship with others does not mean that I feel their are not sincere ones among you, or wise from whom I could learn, nor does it mean I will never worship with you. In fellowshipping elsewhere I hope to fellowship with those who from the heart are willing to search with me. I desire to fellowship with those are open to earnestly search for the Spirit of the Christians of the early church who could not but speak the things which they had seen and heard, while also having a great carefulness and Godly fear about them. One should consider; what men are willing to become is of more importance than what they have been. Although I am not saying I will fellowship with such as King David did in his time of distress in fleeing from Saul, one should consider what the Scriptures say of the 400 men with whom David accompanied in that time of distress (1 Sam 22:2). Are we willing to become a persecuted people with a burning heavenly hope? One of our home ministers, as I remember, after reading some of my writing said, "if we believed like this we would be persecuted" after which he soon turned against me. Are we willing to be the poor of this world and rich in faith? Have our convictions been influenced by what promotes material gain? Another of our home ministers after I had spoken to him of my desire to refrain from paying usury because of my convictions against usury, got somewhat upset with me and said, "how do you expect to get ahead without paying interest"? Yet their are areas of uprightness in our home ministers that I admire and must recognize. yC-12

I am not saying the church is in a condition as it was in John Holdeman's time, yet may we not mistake organization and church power to be spirituality or proof of a Spirit inspired faith. Neither should one conclude that God will not choose to revive His people until they are in the condition as in John Holdeman's time. yC-13

May no one think that I feel it is a light matter to be excommunicated. I physically shook when I was told I was going to be excommunicated. I know we are in the times when Satan is loosed and when many false spirits are prevailing. I have felt tremendous spiritual powers which have made me very sober, and I do not want to without clarity prove my own errors or the errors of others. Paul's Scriptures has been impressive to me which reads, "Prove all things; bold fast that which is good" (1 Thes 5:21). yC-14

According to the Scriptures it is clear that dreams have a place. Yet I believe they need to be proven by a better and stronger foundation, and feel that dreams likely often are not understood until later. I may have put to much emphasis on dreams for which I am sorry. I have had forceful dreams that have made me very sober. Job 7:13-14 has been impressive to me, which reads, "when I say, my bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaint; Then thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions:". I have had forceful dreams that quite clearly contradict insomuch that they would lead in opposite directions. I cannot and do not have dreams for my foundation, yet I do tend to prove some dreams as truth and some as false. Considering the spiritual powers that I have encountered and the Spiritual confusion that is present in today's world, tends to make me more understanding and patient with others. yC-15

The day when the home staff brought me before the congregation as one who was erring, I was studying some subject and asked God to help me find relevant scriptures. In opening or leafing through my Bible, the first Scripture which I then read, although not on the topic I was studying, read, "Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth? They zealously affect you, but not well; yea they would exclude you, that ye might affect them. But it is good to be zealously affected always in a good thing, and not only when I am present with you" (Gal 4:16-18). This Scripture reveals the confusion or error that can and did arise in the New Testament Church. These verses especially impressed me as I was not familiar with them before, or had forgotten them. Although God can and does show signs, yet I fear false signs and wonders. yC-16

If I fellowship with some who have at one time been a part of you, I am not indicating that I feel that the church was all at fault in it's working with them. Yet considering the confusion and needs of our day, and considering difficulties such as have occurred in the church in history, I need not and dare not be a respecter of persons. Although God often prospers the faithful already in this life the following Scriptures dare not be overlooked; "There is a vanity which is done upon the earth; that there be just men, unto whom it happeneth according to the work of the wicked; again, There be wicked men, to whom it happeneth according to The work of the righteous: I said that This also is vanity" (Eccl 8:14, note Eccl 2:14-16, 7:15, 9:2-3,and Job 9:22 read much the same). "And now we call the proud happy; yea, they that work wickedness are set up; yea, they that tempt God are even delivered" (Mal 3:16). "...and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter" (Eccl 4:1). Yet the God of all truth and justice will prosper the honest seeker in eternity. May you as well as myself be found honestly seeking for truth and thus be found under His eternal blessing. yC-17

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart". (Jer 29:11-13). yC-18

Situations and Clarifications

(with various concerns)

Part 2

Article yC


It has been and is a concern to me that today "faith" is largely considered to be simply one's act of believing in Christ and His redemption as taught by others, rather than known to be a sure belief and confidence in eternal and Spiritual things caused by a revelation and experience from God, through which one tastes of the powers of the world to come (Matt 16:16-18, Heb 6:5). True faith which is caused by a revelation or experience from God and tasting the powers of the world to come has fruits as in spoken of in the following verse; "For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what Carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing or yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement[ desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! ..." (2 Cor 7:11). yC-19

It also was and is a concern to me that we have wrongly and unduly emphasized the doctrine of the church to thereby obtain and maintain unity, while lacking the vital unity of unitedly possessing the fervent faith and Godly carefulness which is forth coming when unitedly standing upon the rock or foundation of apostle Peter. The rock or foundation of Peter was a faith in Christ caused by a revelation from God (Matt 16:17), upon which rock Christ said He would build His church. yC-20

Although Apostle Paul speaks of the church as "the pillar and ground of the truth" and that is what the church is ordained to be, yet various Scriptures speaking of the church in the New Testament speak of controlling authorities in the church being untrue, and speak of unjust or improper situations within her (Gal 4:16-18, 3 John 9-10, Matt 25:5, 2 Cor 12:15, 2 Tim 1:15, James 5:6). New Testament history also reveals errors in the church insomuch that the greater thereof was a pillar of untruth. yC-21

There was an Editorial article in the "Messenger Of Truth" entitled "The Doctrine Of The Church". This article took into account several verses in Revelation chapter 21. Rev 21:1-5 reads, "And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw The holy city new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven,... .. and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the first things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new..." yC-22

This "Messenger Of Truth" article takes into account the above chapter as Apostle John seeing a review of the past, rather than seeing a preview of the future. Various excerpts of this "Messenger of Truth" article read as in the following 3 paragraphs; yC-23

"John, in prophetic review, saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven... . ...The Church is divine in origin. She has come down from God out of heaven." yC-24

"Again, speaking of the Church, John saw in his vision that There shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life". (Rev 21:27)." yC-25

This article also emphasized The doctrine of the church reading; "To her [the church], God has vested all the truth that is necessary for salvation and Christian experience (2 Pet 1:3). If any member of the Church of God lack deeper understanding, a greater sanctification, etc., he need not look to some other place, `For in him dwelleth all The fullness of the Godhead bodily, And ye are complete in him.' Col 2:9,10).” Note after the above statement, "To her (the church), God has vested all the truth that is necessary for salvation and Christian experience" as a reference was given 2 Pet 1:3 which reads, "According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that called us to glory and virtue:". yC-26

M This "Messenger Of Truth" Editorial was placed in the "Messenger of Truth" almost immediately after I had endeavored to share the article entitled "The "Word Of God" with most all ministers, which article strongly reproved being unduly anchored in The church. (Note This Editorial article was in the March 29, 1989 "Messenger of Truth" while I had mailed "The Word Of God" article to most all congregations on Feb 10, 1989). yC-27

Galatians chapters 1 and 2, nicely and clearly reprove any spirit that places to much emphases on church orientation and the outward organizational structure of the church, and gives insufficient credit to God calling and doing. Following are several verses from these chapters; "Paul, an apostle, (not of men, neither by man, but by Jesus Christ, and God the Father, who raised him from the dead;). ...But I certify you, brethren, that The gospel which was preached of me is not after man. For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ. ...But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb, and called me by his grace, ...Neither went I up to Jerusalem to them which were apostles before me... Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to see Peter... But other of the apostles saw I none, save James the Lord's brother. ...Afterwards I came into the regions of Syria and Cilicia; And was unknown by face unto the churches of Judea which were in Christ:" (Ga1.1:1&11-12&15&17-19&21-22). "But of these who seemed to be somewhat, (whatsoever They were, it maketh no matter to me: God accepteth no man's person:) for they who seemed to be somewhat in conference added nothing to me:" (Gal 2:6). yC-28

M It also has been a concern to me that many in their zeal for the church tend to defend her in every detail without searching out the circumstances, and therefore many are largely unaware of what they in reality are standing for and are defending and therefore could be found standing for and defending error. As far as I can remember no one yet has asked me any details of the church's dealings with me but most seem to desire to remain uninvolved or seem to desire to stand for whatever the church authority involved has initiated and brought about. May we in our zeal for The church not only fear division, but also fear being united in error, as in history the majority of the church various times was united in error while only a remnant was united in truth. Those who together with me, believe John Holdeman had a special call from God, should consider that after John Holdeman had various experiences which filled him with Godly carefulness and fervency, he prophesied of division saying, "God would divide the church into two parts". yC-29

It has been a concern to me, how it is taught that all spiritual revelations or experiences, without exception, are subject to if they fit in and flow with the spiritual standard and light of the church authority (mainstream) today, and taught that if they divide from such, they are assuredly in error and are deception. Yet if such were true, one would never need to, for a time, stand in the gap (Ezek 22:30), nor would a faithful. remnant ever need to begin to stand apart from the greater body, holding to the true spiritual standard. It is even possible that one might excuse himself from his God given responsibility to stand in the gap by hiding under a so called brotherly humility and telling himself that he dare trust his own light nor hold his light above his brethren. After John Holdeman had various experiences which filled him with Godly carefulness and fervency he himself writes as follows, "Then I sought opportunity to converse with you ministers and members, but I had become strange to you, You did not examine me, nor look after me... After this... my father and I went to those called 'Stauffer People', who separated from you in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, and there sought a home, because we could not see a way anymore how to walk with you; but we did not unite with them. Then we did not know what to do... Then my father said, `thus we cannot stand,' and gave counsel that we would hold meetings. But this fell heavy on my mind; for it went hard for me to separate myself from you... Now we were divided four of us separated from you in the hope that God would bless us, as was done until this present time". This division took place in 1859 and concerning the progress in the next six years John writes, "The church increased slowly until there were about twenty members in the fall of 1865. We had to endure many false accusations as to what we taught, and also false reports of our life..." yC-30

One should consider the question; when the church of God drifts into lukewarmness and one stands alone in disapproving it, will such be accepted any better by the lukewarm body than it is accepted by other churches when one stands alone in disapproving them and wants to leave them and enter the church of God? yC-31

Our stand on usury also has been a concern to me, as well as the foundation for our direction. Several years back I asked some ministers how they felt about paying usury, which they answered saying, they had in the past asked ministers about paying interest and were told they felt it was permissible. Yet I believe all would agree, that we dare not base our beliefs merely on what ministers in times past have said. yC-32

Around 6 years ago I invited a seeking neighbor to church and then to our home for Sunday dinner. I believe this individual was of a liberal or no church background. I then also invited a brother and his wife over for dinner, hoping for a nice visit with this seeking neighbor. This seeking neighbor was very hungry for fellowship and I believe it was with tears that he shook our hands before leaving. He was quite zealous and had done much studying. During the afternoon he told of his convictions on usury and how he felt we should and could as a people be free of paying usury. Later I asked the brother who shared this visit with us, what he thought of this seeking neighbor, upon which he without hesitation answered and said "he is a proud man". I was surprised at this brothers abrupt answer and in myself wondered why he felt as such concerning this neighbor. Yet as this neighbor was not one to be convinced that decisions are correct because the majority in the church agreed on such, but rather needed to understand the reasons for himself is quite likely why he was judged as such. The brother that judged this neighbor as such was then quite young, yet now is a minister in the church. yC-33

God's people are to be a people who have the same light, because of unitedly understanding the truth, not a people who have the same light because they all have agreed to accept and promote the light of the church (majority), while not diligently or sufficiently using their own mental capacities and understanding Spiritual truths for themselves. It one evades his own understanding and convictions because of them creating a disturbance and accepts the light of others for the sake of evading persecution, God will hold him responsible for not being a faithful steward over the mental capacities that God has given him. yC-34

I believe that their are many individuals, as well as myself, who are seeking for truth, who long to see and enter a city of shining truth. Yet the hopes of many an earnest seeker is crushed, when a particular standard of Christianity, although possibly far inferior to the spiritual standard of God's people in times past, in reality is upheld and defended. When earnest and sincere seekers of other denominations in finding God forsake their social honor, and as it were loose their life in this present world to keep it unto life eternal, they often are quite filled with zeal for heavenly and eternal things; do we then expect those individuals to look to us as a city of shining truth while often in reality are lives and social relations are rather filled with material zealousness, and possibly insomuch that speaking of spiritual things outside of church services is unnatural to us? yC-35

I believe their are those among you who feel it is proper to, or are willing to overlook the needs that are present among you because of the good that is also is among you. Yet one should be careful in this as Apostle James says, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point he is guilty of all" (James 2:10). yC-36

How serious are the needs or errors of today? When quite authoritative church writings use scriptures that clearly pertain to honoring Christ, to honor the church, and to cause church members to give their allegiance and loyalty to the church, are not Scriptures being misused and a wrong foundation of unity being developed? Although the following situations are likely not as serious as the above, yet it reveals that likely to often, problems are merely smoothed over rather than uprooted. A few years back, after revival meetings were ended the one revival minister's private confession before leaving this congregation was "they have problems". Another revival minister advised a member of our congregation to move away, while also giving advise in which congregation he would be happier in the other state where he moved to. The church did endeavor to give our congregation some special help a few years back. Yet may we not only deal with disunity, but endeavor to be united because of unitedly standing upon the rock or foundation upon which apostle Peter stood. The rock or foundation of Peter was a faith in Christ, caused by a revelation from the Father, which faith since being caused by such, is a living and fervently working faith, which saves and justifies those who possess it. Firstly considering that many churches have great mission programs and win various converts, and secondly considering how our mission congregations often possess a more zealous faith and greater earnestness then our home congregations, may the mission programs and mission outreach of the church not be thought to be evidence that the church is on course in every work and every aspect. yC-37

Although I do not feel to say God has removed the candle from you, yet I do not feel God will overlook the needs among you. And I do not intend to portray that it is God's plan that we be divided as we are. Concerning Christ the Scriptures say, "A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory" (Matt 12:20). I tend to believe that God will yet send forth more judgment unto victory among you after which you will be more accountable. yC-38

I do have a deep concern for many (not excluding myself), including older staff maters who seem to be quite at ease in the church, possibly taking honor one of another, and yet seem to lack recognizing and reproving lukewarmness, seem to lack a personal understanding and concern, and seem to lack instilling a Godly carefulness, and sobriety among their people. Yet again I must state that I do believe their are those among you who are concerned. Yet is their enough concern to generate willingness to stand in the gap? yC-39

The writer needs help, the church needs help, and the world needs help. who will help? "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth" (Rev 3:16). "Go through, go through the gates; prepare ye the way of the people; cast up, cast up the highway; gather out the stones; lift up a standard for the people" (Isaiah 66:10). yC-40

Three other articles which relate quite closely to this writing are; "Considering God's working with His People in the 1970s and Where We Find ourselves in The Latter 80s (Parts 1 and 2)", "Jerusalem (the church) and the Prophet", and "Experiences" yC-41